shes about as inviting as chlamydia
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
