I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
