Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
