he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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