remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize