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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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