He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
