Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
