I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
