hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
