dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Randomize
