Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
