You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
