i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
