"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
