do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
