Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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