No stitches, just platelets and will power
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
