hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
