I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
