i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
