The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
