So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
