arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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