Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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