you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
