I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
