Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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