Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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