Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
