I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
