absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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