Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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