just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
