just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So many bounce houses so little time
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
