I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
