Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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