super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
