Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You may now shotgun with the bride
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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