mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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