it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
