You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
