so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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