you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
