the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
