She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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