You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
