i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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