Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
