I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
