she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
