so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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